Preparing our hearts for Lent

We are just a week or so away from Ash Wednesday and already I see Lenten quizzes popping up on my Newsfeed. Many of us associate the season of Lent with the idea of “giving up” something, whether its meat, our favourite bubble tea or social media. No doubt, these are good ideas that we can adopt. The idea of “sacrifice” resonates deeply with us as we ponder the ultimate sacrifice on the cross. We envision the next 40 days of Lent as being akin to walking in the desert, where our favourite things are nowhere to be found. Yet, as I’ve reflected on this, I’ve realised it goes much deeper than a superficial sort of “sacrifice”. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus reminds us aptly

But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

What Jesus wants from us is a humble and contrite spirit, willing to acknowledge the areas of darkness in our soul and not to “do things for the sake of doing them”, that is, having the right intention. In recent times, I have formed unhealthy attachments to affirmation and realised that this desire has been moving me further away from the Father. When we are consumed by our selfish desires, we lose sight of who we are and become plunged into a form of spiritual darkness. So attached are we to our desires and affections, that sometimes for us, it truly is the 40 days and 40 nights in the desert!

I started to explore and pray for a spirit of detachment and started to read about the “Holy Hour”, an hour spent in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. It appealed very much to me and I decided to set aside sometime after work to spend with the Lord in prayer and silent reflection, away from the distractions which plagued me. Perhaps I was not in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament (I am biding my time as the virus situation stabilises), but the quiet space carved out amidst the hustle and bustle did wonders. I was able to access a quiet space within the soul, which felt very unlike anything else I had decided to do in my free time. As Father Jacques Phillipe notes in his book, Interior Freedom (which I highly recommend!)

This is why humility, spiritual poverty, is so precious: it locates our identity securely in the one place where it will be safe from all harm. If our treasure is in God, no one can take it from us. Humility is truth. I am what I am in God’s eyes: a poor child who possesses absolutely nothing, who receives everything, infinitely loved and totally free. I have received everything in advance from the freely bestowed love of my Father, who said to me definitively: “All that is mine is yours.

Emptying ourselves of our desires, praying for a spirit of “holy indifference”, frees us from the desires and affections which threaten to overtake us and control us.

St John of the Cross notes that:

You don’t become a saint by constantly seeking freedom from all of your uncomfortable constraints and irritations. As with any good work of art, edges and limits give life its beautiful form. And holiness is all about the right edges and the right form. Think: grace transforms, conforms, reforms, informs our life with the form of Christ’s cross. Your ‘if onlys’ are the hemmed in frame within which God can paint his masterpiece — you! You’ll become holy by allowing God to frame your life, cut your edges and paint away.

Now, instead of perceiving Lent as a temporary sacrifice, where after the 40 days I would revert to my old life, I now see Lent as a pathway to greater detachment and a true freedom. For we are constantly undergoing a process of purification, refined by the holy fire, and everyday we resemble our Creator more and more.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.

1 John 2:15

Indeed Lent does not have to feel the same again, we can look at this season as the gateway to a gradual change in our hearts. We are perhaps not giving up bubble tea, meat or Netflix. Instead we are detaching ourselves from what is fleeting and pursuing the grace that is eternal.