Yearning for sacred spaces during lockdown: a mindfulness retreat

To mark Mental Health Awareness Week 2020* my workplace did a series of online activities for staff to tend to their wellbeing whilst working from home. Today I attended a guided mindfulness visualisation exercise. The session opened with the soothing voice of a Mindfulness instructor. Her video background filter on. The choice of image? Rolling mountains, of course, to set the tone. She leads us in gently with some calming breaths then invites us all to visualise our favourite place in the world.

“Think of a place in the world that brings you the most happiness”.

Without hesitation, an image flashes to mind. It’s an Our Lady chapel in a church I used to visit when I lived in Paris. This chapel represented the epitome of friendship, sisterhood, motherhood and companionship at the time. It was the place I would go after a long day at university to ‘pop’ in and speak to my mother, our mother, Our Lady. There, Our Lady heard about the triumphs of my day, the humorous moments, struggles and everything in between. It was truly a place of peace and happiness that held me during one of the most transitional years of my life.

Reflecting on this made me realise how we as Catholics have been given the greatest gift in Mother Church with all its beautiful sacred spaces. During the lockdown, my heart is yearning for church architecture and the presence of the Eucharist that makes me feel at home wherever I am in the world.

One of my favourite Advent songs is by Bifrost Arts called ‘In Labour all creation groans’. It sings of a world before it knew the coming of Christ, and I imagine the haunting emptiness and hollowness the world felt. A world that is an echoing tomb aching for truth and the promises of eternal life.

“In labour all creation groans till fear and hatred cease,Till human hearts come to believe: In Christ alone is peace.” (Bifrost Arts)

“And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” (Romans 8:23)

In many ways waiting to go back to Church during lockdown feels similar. Although we went through Lent in these time I feel there is similar waiting for coming joy as with Advent. We are longing to be reunited with our parishes and the joyful gift of receiving the Eucharist.

The mindfulness instructor asks us to hold the image of our special place in our mind, and I invite you to mentally visit your favourite church as you read this blog post. Remember the prayers you prayed there, the moments of connection with our Lord and the parish members that build up the Church.

The instructor asks us to notice the sights. I see the high lofty ceilings in the Parisian chapel. The statue of Our Lady’s gaze lovingly rests on me, the orchid offerings around her feet burst with colour, the paintings on the wall are faded but marked with rustic colours depicting stories of Mary and her son. There are confessionals on either side of my pew and the light beams through the ceiling casting rays that dance on the marble floor.

She asks us to notice the smells, and I’m immediately met with the fragrance of incense. For many of us that have grown up in the church, this is the most nostalgic and comforting smell imaginable. It denotes closeness to Our Lord and sifts through the air, lifting our prayers high to the heavens.

She asks us to notice the tastes of this special place. I’m reminded of what it feels like to kneel on the soft cushions of the pews, hands rested on old wood and the taste of the Eucharist in my mouth when I visit that church for mass. The sweetness of the sacramental wine and the way the host disintegrates on the tongue and melts away anxieties. The communion of all that is weak and human about me joint with all that is strong about God. This beautiful moment of remembrance and breaking of bread with a friend.

Finally, she asks us how being in this special place feels in our body, and an overwhelming peace washes over me. That feeling of Sunday mass knowing that Jesus is close to me despite whatever joys, lows, stresses and difficulties have punctuated the week. I am at ease. I relish in the goodness of the Father and His presence in this place.

The instructor asks us to think of one word to describe this experience, and mine was ‘ABIDE’. I know that in my special Our Lady chapel, in any church around the world and in the fullness of the Eucharist that God ABIDES in me and I in Him. The significance of this word was even more poignant considering the mindfulness session was held on the Feast of the Ascension. Saint Augustine famously proclaimed these words on the Feast: ‘Today Christ ascended into heaven; let our hearts ascend with him’. Our task as bodies of the Church, therefore, is to continue this work of bringing heaven and earth together. To remember that Jesus does not leave us in the Ascension, or lockdown during a global pandemic. Rather, he links all the greatness of heaven with the earth in an ongoing communion. An ongoing relationship presenting itself to you right now.

So as we now await for Pentecost, I invite you to do this exercise imagining what it is like to visit your parish. Imagine your church, pray for your priest and fellow parishioners. In this moment of lockdown, we can enter our own ‘upper room’ like the disciples at Pentecost and be filled with the Holy Spirit. The four walls that surround us need not be a constraint, but rather a meeting place for the Holy Spirit to come and fill us with the knowledge of who we are in Him.

What is the Holy Spirit calling you to do?

Which gifts of the Holy Spirit do you want more of?

What is the Holy Spirit saying to you during this time of lockdown?

Transportation to our places of worship is available at any time. One need not physically go to the Upper Room to be aware of its spiritual importance to encounter Christ. Inside each of us is an ‘upper room where we can experience the living presence of God wherever we are in lockdown to experience his life-giving and transformative presence. Jesus is inviting us to ABIDE with him always. The physical temple was destroyed because friendship with Jesus is the new worship place that can be accessed in the deepest truths of our heart.

Although our churches are beautiful bricks and spaces, they are places that are alive in us too. We can think about our church and recognise that the intimacy of a relationship with Christ is an expansiveness available all the time. Even when times are tough you can tap into this truth and bask in the presence of our Lord. Enjoy it, let it nourish your soul, let it restore you.

If yearning to return to sacred spaces meets with you this week maybe we can be reminded that if God has permitted us to be made to wait, we are in good company. Abraham waited on God’s promise for 25 years, Moses waited 40 years in the desert with the Israelites, Job waited in suffering and even Jesus Christ Our Lord waited 30 years before starting his ministry. Waiting without a detailed framework can seem difficult, but waiting can also reveal motives, inspire patience, transform our character and build greater intimacy with God.

Until we all meet again in our Churches my prayers are with you all. I hope the gifts of the Holy Spirit nourish us all during one of the most unique retreats of our lifetimes. I hope that when the appointed time comes for us to return to our churches we will all be nourished with a renewed faith.

*For more information on Mental Health Awareness week UK visit Mental Health Foundation

For wonderful imaginative contemplation exercises and resources visit Pray As You Go App

Mariah is a Mental Health professional working in the UK. Holding two previous degrees, she is now pursuing a Masters in Social Work with a focus on couple and family relationships whilst working full-time in frontline services. She hopes to inspire and heal the people she serves by drawing upon her faith, and leading with compassion. Mariah is committed to fighting for social justice and equality for the most vulnerable groups in society, and strives to follow the servant leadership modelled by Christ. Having previously worked in the Arts sectors she still has a passion for all things creative and can often be found gravitating to visual art, creative writing, dance and any opportunity to express herself