1 Corinthians 13/Ep 2: Love does not envy, love does not boast

This is part of an extended series "1 Corinthians 13 - Discovering the Father's Love" as we journey towards Valentine's Day. Stay tuned for reflections on the beautiful verse as we meditate on the nature of love.

A simple scroll through Instagram is enough to remind us of all that we don’t have, the perfect relationship, the promotion and recognition at work, the happy family, the endless wardrobe. We compare the lives of others with our own and realise the stark contrast. We find it difficult to be happy for the ones we love when the green horns of envy rear their ugly head. On the other hand, some of us feel the need to “publicise” our achievements on social media, sometimes to gain affirmation and validation for our success. The feel-good factor of the numerous likes and shares fuel our inner ego. Yet, I have realised that pride and envy are two sides of the same coin. They stem from a self-centred desire where we place ourselves at the centre instead of others. For is envy, not the perception that WE are lacking compared to others? For is pride, not the perception that others are lacking compared to US?

The Lord challenges us to live the challenge of “Love does not envy, love does not boast”, but it is definitely no easy task. When we live in a society built on comparison, we can’t help but feel envious sometimes of others. We wonder why we do not have what they have. Yet, in coveting what others have, we are closing ourselves to the others-centred love He is calling us to. To love as He loved is to be happy for the people we love, happy that they have that new job, that new relationship, that newborn baby or that pay raise. There are times when I have compared myself to others, wondering why am I in my current circumstance and I have felt guilty for it afterwards.

To be called to the deeper love of the Father, is to love others wholeheartedly, to place them at the forefront instead of myself. To be happy for their success instead of focussing on what I lack. For I am not lacking, I have been blessed abundantly, maybe just a little differently? The Lord has a unique plan for all of us and sometimes we fail to see this. We are so focussed on the life journey of others or a prescribed life journey, yet how open have we been to the gentle guidance of the Spirit? To break free of the chains of envy, we need to refocus our attention away from ourselves towards the Spirit’s stirrings in our heart. To break free of these chains is to live in the free love of the Father, to trust that He has good plans for us, plans that may not look like what we see in the lives of others. We may not fully understand His plans, but rest assured, He only has the best in mind for you!

The other side of envy, is pride and it manifests itself in so many ways. Many of us, myself included, have felt that we have gotten to where we are in life, on our own strength and intellect alone. I have at one point in my life, felt like I had no need for the Father and that I could rely on my own strength to carry me through. Over the years, I have realised the dangers of pride, for we place ourselves on a false pedestal above others and falsely believe that our achievements are based on our own abilities and worthiness. We pride ourselves as being fully self-sufficient and that our success is a direct product of our effort and personal capacities. In these situations, the Father will draw us out of our comfortable pedestals and remind us that we need to wholly depend on Him. When you can feel the ground under your feet crumbling, who else do we look to, but the Father?

The thing about pride is that by placing ourselves at a level higher than others, we are separating ourselves from a humble love of the Father. We are distancing ourselves from others, we are driving a wedge between ourselves and the Father. He revealed to me, that where I am now and what I do, is truly for His glory alone, and not mine. When I realised that all that I have done, all the people I have reached out to are not of my own merit, but for the sake of His kingdom, I consecrate my everyday to Him and His divine purpose. In Christ alone, are we sufficient and sometimes it takes a wake-up call to remind us that we are called to a love based on the foundation of humility. To learn to love Him in our littleness and poverty, as St Therese urges us to. To love others, is to let go of our human self-centredness and to do everything not for ourselves, but for Him alone. I’ve learned over time that by dedicating my daily tasks to Him, I have less to worry about. Whatever I do, I do for Him alone!

Let us rediscover the humble and all encompassing love for the Father, for truly

In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, When fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My comforter, my all in all— Here in the love of Christ I stand.