Feminine Genius Ep1/Maternity

This is part of a 6 part series on the Feminine Genius, as highlighted in St John Paul II's Letter to Women.

Photos of my friends' newborns have been flooding my feed recently - the tired parents, crying child, cute little onesies - I've seen it all. I look at the adoring look on my friend's face as she shows me her baby and my usual cynical self softens a little. It's strange but true - the maternal instinct kicks in and I rock the baby gently in my arms, making cooing noises to soothe her. I had never really thought too seriously about motherhood - it seemed to be a far away choice I did not have to make. Yet, the arrival of these newborns in my friends' lives have stirred some desires I didn't know I had. Recently while I was travelling on the train, I found myself surrounded by two siblings. The seats next to me had been empty and I had unknowingly taken a middle seat. The two children immediately set themselves next to me and regarded me with curiousity. They appeared to be very comfortable and inched closer, glancing at my phone screen - making sense of the article I was reading. I told my friend about it and she remarked "Children seem to like you! You'd make a great mother." I laughed it off at first but regarded the idea of motherhood a little more seriously after that.

Instinctively, I've always felt the urge to care for and protect children and to "mother" them, even if they are not my own. It's something I can't quite explain sometimes but I have become more aware of the treasure that is maternity - a distinctly feminine quality that characterises the Feminine Genius we are delving deeper into.

“The woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.” - St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein)

As women, we are created to be a shelter for others to take refuge and to bloom. The image of Mother Mary sheltering the faithful under her mantle as seen below:

A striking image, Mary models this idea of "maternity" as she places us under her care. Mary presents 2 models of motherhood - the physical act of giving birth to a child and that of spiritual motherhood. Some of us will be called to be biological mothers and to bear children and it is a beautiful vocation. Yet in recent years, there has been growing recognition for spiritual motherhood- involving intercessory prayer and acts of service to others. Alice von Hilderbrand ( a firm favourite female writer of mine who also wrote The Privilege of Being a Woman) notes:

Motherhood is not only biological maternity. It is spiritual maternity. There are hundreds of people all around who are desperately looking for a mother. A number of people have come to me to tell me about their problems. I listen to them. And I love them. And I say very little. But they know that I care for them. In this sense, I have become their mother.

I started to look at motherhood with new eyes and realised that maybe I was already a mother in some sense! When I listen to my friend's problems, hold space for them, send them an art piece that reminds me of them or say a prayer for them, I have become their spiritual mother. In this season, I realised I have not necessarily been deprived of this gift of motherhood, I always have been one! Perhaps you too are praying and wondering whether you will be a mother in time to come, I invite you to pray every more fervently for the Lord to send you spiritual children who you may love and cherish

I conclude with a beautiful quote by Dr Hildebrand:

You are called to motherhood right now. Not next week, not next month. I’m absolutely convinced that God has placed people in your path and called you to motherhood. Your task is to love those that are weak, unhappy, helpless, and unloved. Sometimes you can do this just by saying one word. At other times you’ll just have to listen. In every life there is suffering; most people keep it inside. When they feel loved, they will open up and tell you about their suffering. Then you will find that by carrying other people’s suffering your own suffering becomes lighter.

I close with a few questions to ponder:

1. How is Mary a mother to me?

2. Who is the Lord calling me to reach out to in this season?

3. How can I be a mother to others?