Fleabag + Faith/Ep2

In my previous short piece, I analysed Fleabag’s constant dissociation from real life interaction and highlighted her desire for genuine connection. Compounded by the advent of dating applications and short term relationships, it is little wonder the underlying motivation most of us have is primal and basic - a real connection. Placing myself in Fleabag’s shoes, I would have had the same reaction to a piercing - What do you do? It seems like a simple questions but it points to a desire to understand and to uncover more about the person in front of us. Fleabag mumbles a reply but she cannot escape the penetrating gaze of the Priest. She leaves the dinner table for fresh air when the atmosphere in the restaurant turns suffocating and he follows her outside. As both of them smoke outside, he ventures again and she rebuffs him, the first of many such instances. It’s a sign borne from her tendency to dissociate, she would rather keep people at arms length instead of let them know her more deeply - much like how she finds comfort in passivity instead of engaging with the messiness of real life.

They spend the day outside together, strolling through the streets of London and the interesting thing I observed is that he seems to be the one asking all the questions. He wants to know her and understand her. The conversation culminates in a cafe where he asks quite plainly - What are you hiding from me? I want to get to know you! She recoils in horror, this is what she had always been running away from - a genuine connection. This is a strange tension, she deeply desires it but she is also captive by fear of allowing herself to be fully known. I see parallels with our fear of being known on an intimate level by other people and yes, God Himself (didn’t see that one coming eh?). A little like the Priest, God is pursuing us constantly and wants to know us and love us and we are running in the opposite direction. In a society that regards commitment with suspicion, sometimes branding ourselves commitment-phobes, the Priest provides a breath of fresh air, he just wants to know Fleabag better. Like Fleabag, a lot of us can acknowledge our fear when someone really looks long and hard at us and wants to really know our true selves. It’s a delicate cat and mouse game of running away from the inklings of understanding and love because we do not think we deserve it or think it’s too good to be true. But the thing is, the Priest is not deterred and his interest in her only grows - a little like how no matter how far away we may try to keep God, He is not on the brink of giving up in the least. He’s just waiting patiently for us, even if we storm out of that cafe.