Walking with Him/Ep6

This post is part of an extended 7 part Lenten series, involving meditations on the Stations of the Cross, as we walk towards Calvary with Jesus, step-by-step.

What a curious Good Friday this is, and also how fitting. Too often, we are caught up in the hustle and bustle of modern life that we do not take time to slow down and sit at the foot of the cross. What an interesting time of Circuit Breaker this has been amidst the current crisis. It has freed up valuable time for me to attend daily mass. I’ve never “attended” mass so regularly before! While I feel an ache for the Eucharist, the simple act of spiritual communion reminds me that the Church is more than a physical space, He does live in each one of us. This quiet time of solitude, while loved by introverts can prove to be difficult for some. As the daily news has changed from day to day and the severity of the situation mounts, I have learned to die to myself and my desires. Before this crisis, I had an unhealthy tendency to fill my time with “fillers” and “distractions”. I would stay out, just for the sake of being out and feeling like I was “living my fullest life”. Of course, prayer and time with Jesus took a hit. Yet, as a lot of the things I thought I could not live without, attending dance class, meeting my friends… I realised, were actually non-essential. How fitting then that as I watched the Palm Sunday service, it was stripped bare of the external ceremonies and all that remained was the bare essentials. As I meditated on the 11th Station, Jesus is nailed to the cross, I reflected on what had been nailing me to my own cross. What was chaining me, preventing me from living a life of freedom? I’ve been praying over this Lenten season for holy detachment from desires and affections and to learn to open myself to receiving love. What are your own personal nails? What is nailing you down? Anxiety, fear of failure, fear of not being loved, being ridiculed? We go about our lives, claiming we are living free lives, when in actual fact, we have been chained. We can only break these chains with Jesus’ help, for as in the 12th Station, Jesus dies on the cross, to save us from sin and death. His death redeems us and I could sense the depth of His love, as I listened to an online reflection. He loved us while we were still sinners. As Father Luke Fong reflects on why Good Friday is considered Good, perhaps it is because instead of us paying the price of our sins, Jesus has already died on behalf of us. He was blameless, He did not need to pay the price, but He did so, freely. What is love then? A curious word to come up on Good Friday, where we tend to associate the cross with themes of surrender. Love is borne of free will, a conscious choice to keep loving, to go into the deep, where we think we are incapable of reaching. Jesus death then represents for us, the ultimate act of love, to lay down one’s life for the one one loves. This is a Good Friday I will always remember, for my gaze has been directed towards the cross, upon which Our Saviour hangs. He has captured my attention and He has broken rusty chains. As we venture deeper into the Triduum, let us keep the cross foremost on our minds and see the cross as more than a symbol, but the act of love it is. By His death we are redeemed as in Isaiah 43:1, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” He died for you and me, His is a personal relationship. He wants you to feel the immensity of His love for you, may you be reminded why this Friday is Good.